It's not my birthday!
by Sapphire Luna
Summary: The girls start beating up their teammates,but some are mysteriously being spared. Naruto wonders why, while fearing his own violent fate at the hand of Sakura.Angry girls means dangerous girls. What did most of the boys forget that made the girls so mad?


I find it hard starting a new fic while staring at a blank Microsoft Word page..That's why I always write a short random thing like this XD Doritos are neat. Thanks to for its help writing this fic.

**Disclaimer:** Luna doesn't own Naruto or its characters, If she did, she'd put more fluffy scenes in. But since Naruto is shounen manga, it won't happen.

Anyways! This story takes place sometime during the fillers, meaning no Sasuke.

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**It's not my birthday!**

Naruto was leasurely walking down the road to Ichiraku Ramen. What better way to start (or continue or end, for that matter) your day than with a fresh bowl of yummy noodle goodness? The sun was high, the birds were singing. Yes, it was gonna be a fine day indeed.

Suddenly someone bumped into him running at high speed, sending him spinning around until he turned back to see who the offender was. He saw Neji who hadn't even stopped running nor apologized. Naruto was about to voice his discontentment when he was bumped again, this time by Lee. The polite boy did stop in his tracks to apologize, though quickly.

" Sorry, Naruto-kun! You'd best not remain here; a huge storm is coming!" He resumed his run and disappeared.

Naruto squinted. " Storm? But the weather…"

" GET OUT OF THE WAY!!"

The poor boy didn't even have time to turn around when he was knocked into the sky by a furious Tenten racing towards Lee and Neji who were both quite a distance away by now.

Naruto fell flat on his face. " Ow ow ow…What is wrong with that girl?" Were bushy-brow and Neji really running away from Tenten? He shrugged and continued his walk.

--

At Ichiraku Ramen, Naruto met Chouji. The large boy looked quite unhappy. To Naruto, ramen and unhappy were two words that couldn't exist together.

" Yo, Chouji! What's up? You look… beat up."

Beat up was actually too small a word. Chouji looked like a truck ran over him. With bumps and scratches everyway.

"What happened?" Naruto asked, sitting beside his friend.

Chouji took a very serious expression. " It was a monster, Naruto. Huge and terrifying. Just one look at its eyes and you'd pee in your pants."

Naruto gulped. " Mo…monster? What did it look like?"

" It had burning blue eyes, a long snake-like blond ponytail and a slap that could make your eyes pop out."

Naruto choked on the ramen he had just ordered. " Ino???"

Chouji started crying. " YEEES! She was so mad! She totally beat the crap out of me!" He sobbed. " Ino angry makes you forget all you ever thought was scary."

"But what did you do?"

**++Chouji flashback mode++**

I was leasurely walking down the road to Ichiraku Ramen, when I spotted Tenten chasing Neji and Lee around. I shrugged and continued when Ino came up to me.

" Chouji!" she called, already looking very angry.

" H-hey, Ino. What's…up?" I was totally terrified already.

" Isn't there something you forgot? Isn't there something you'd like to say?"

I searched in my head for what she could mean. " Um... happy birthday?"

Then I saw flames in her eyes and the next thing I knew, she had me crying for mercy.

" I'll never do something nice for you ever again!!" She yelled before running off.

**++End Chouji flashback mode++**

Chouji cried again in desperation.

" Scary…" Naruto said, feeling uneasy. He wondered if this had anything to do with Tenten's mood.

--

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Naruto decided it would be best to head home already, in case a crazy girl would come after him too. Just then, though, he caught a glimpse of Shikamaru sitting nearby. He thought it would be best to warn Shikamaru about Ino.

" Shikamaru! Thank God you're okay! Ino is…" Naruto froze when he saw that Ino was sitting right beside him and the two of them were casually eating cake in a small café. Somehow Shikamaru appeared to be completely unharmed.

" What about me, Naruto?" Ino asked, smiling.

Smiling? Where had the monster gone, Naruto thought. " I saw Chouji and…"

Ino's face changed. " Chouji!! That bastard!!!"

Oh, there it is. Naruto was confused though. Why would Ino beat up Chouji but not Shikamaru?

" I don't get it. What are you two doing here anyways?"

Ino regained her smile. " Shikamaru is treating me today!"

Naruto blinked. " Is it your birthday?"

" No, you moron!" she yelled back.

Shikamaru sighed. " Treating her is troublesome, but it would've been much more troublesome if I hadn't."

" I don't get it." Naruto said. He really didn't get it.

" Forget that idiot, let's leave. You're treating me all day!" Ino grabbed Shikamaru's arm and dragged him away.

" But I didn't even finish my cake. Troublesome…"

Naruto watched them leave, confused, when suddenly a dozen kunais flew right by him. He barely dodged them just as Lee and Neji crashed in and were off in an instant, with Tenten still on their heels.

" We didn't forget Tenten's birthday last week, so why is she angry now?" Lee asked, dodging some of the girl's many sharp weapons.

Neji didn't reply, but somehow he considered this to be great training. They disappeared into the distance once more.

" You won't get away from me!!"

Ok, Naruto thought, this day is getting weirder and weirder.

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Still on his way home, the blonde boy met Kiba and Shino. Naruto inspected them carefully. They showed no sign of violence. Then again, there's no way Hinata could hurt her friends like that.

" Kiba! Shino! You two are fine too. Hinata…she's not angry, is she?"

Kiba snorted. " Why would she be? We're not idiots."

Naruto frowned. " What's that mean? What do you two and Shikamaru know that I don't?"

" Hinata is so gentle and fragile. We couldn't possibly disappoint her." Shino added quietly.

" If I were you, Naruto, I'd be on guard. Sakura might be around…" Kiba laughed and the two of them left a worrying Naruto alone.

" Sakura-chan…" What if…what if Sakura was gonna get him too? What if he had done something wrong as well? He shuddered at the thought of Sakura furious.

A loud voice brought Naruto back to his senses. " Come back here, you bastards!!"

Sure enough, Neji and Lee raced passed him again. Only this time, Tenten threw a chain attached to a boulder at Lee's legs. The chain circled his legs, making him fall down. Neji turned to look at his fallen comrade.

" Forget about me, Neji! Leave me here! Escape! Run for your life!" Lee shouted in an over-dramatic way.

Without a second thought, Neji left Lee behind and disappeared. Lee sweatdropped. He was actually hoping for a 'I'd never leave a teammate behind!' speech.

Naruto quickly escaped as well, scared of seeing the horrors Tenten would do to Lee now that she had caught him…

--

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Naruto had almost reached his house but he stopped dead in his tracks when he heard what seemed to be a roar of thunder and heavy footsteps.

" NA-RU-TOOO!"

The boy was shaking as he turned around, knowing that luck wasn't on his side today.

" Sakura-chan! Hello…"

Sakura looked totally pissed, just like Naruto feared. " I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! I'll never do it again!"

Sakura raised a fist. " You don't even know what you're apologizing for, do you??"

Naruto shook his head pitifully. " Did I forget your birthday?" he suggested.

" It's not my birthday! You men are all the same! You never think of anything other than yourselves!"

Sakura punched the poor teen painfully, but he vanished in a puff of smoke and Sakura spotted the real Naruto already running away from her.

" You're not getting away with this!!" She gave chase to her prey.

--

--

Naruto came out of the alley he had hidden in. No Sakura in sight. He gave out a sigh of relief.

" Na…Naruto-kun?"

The surprised and scared boy jumped, then got on his knees and cowered before his supposed aggressor. " Have mercy! Please! I'll do anything! Don't hurt me!"

Hinata blinked. "I'm not going to hurt you, Naruto-kun."

Naruto raised his head. " Hinata! It's only you! I'm so glad!" He got back up. " You're…feeling well, right?"

The cute girl blushed. " Ye-yes. Very."

" Oh good! I was scared for a second there, because the other girls have all gone crazy and… hey what are those?" He pointed to the items Hinata had been holding in her arms,

She had a chocolate box shaped like a paw print and a single white rose. She blushed some more. " These are presents…that Shino and Kiba gave me."

" Why? Is it your birthday?"

"No… today is March 14th."

Naruto blinked.

" It's White Day," the girl continued.

Naruto looked more confused.

" Naruto-kun, you don't know about White Day?" The boy shook his head. " Um…February 14th is Valentine's Day. It's a day for girls to give gifts to…" Here she became even redder. "…people they like, who are important to them. And on March 14th, the boys are supposed to give a gift to the girls they received the gift from as a sign of mutual appreciation. I gave some of my homemade chocolate to Kiba and Shino last month and in return they gave me this." She pointed to the chocolate and rose she was holding. " Not receiving anything can be insulting, perhaps that is way the other girls are upset."

What Hinata did not mention, though, is that she had a gift for Naruto on Valentine's Day but she had been too shy to give it to him. So she just left it somewhere he would find it, and did not sign her name anywhere. So it was no surprise to her that Naruto wouldn't be giving her something on White Day.

" Ooh! I get it now! So that's why the girls are going crazy!" Naruto exclaimed. That's why Shino said they couldn't disappoint Hinata. That's also why Shikamaru was treating Ino to anything she wanted, because facing her rage instead would've been way troublesome.

Suddenly, Naruto spotted Sakura around the corner, still with that pissed look on her face.

" Er…thanks Hinata. I gotta go quick now. Bye!" And with that, he was off as fast as he could.

" You're…welcome…"

--

--

Naruto was running down the woods, knowing Sakura wasn't too far behind. He remembered something as he was escaping: Sakura didn't even give him a present on Valentine's Day! What gives? What was she expecting then? It's not like Sakura was in any condition to be explaining things calmly, so Naruto climbed in a tree to hide.

"Hey," said a voice in the tree.

Naruto gasped. " Neji? What the hell?"

The Hyuuga genius had been hiding in the very same tree already. Even him needed to rest after running so much. "Keep quiet," he ordered.

" You're hiding too? Hey listen, the reason the girls are so mad is because we forgot White Day!"

Neji gave him a smug look. " I know."

" You mean you knew the reason all along?"

" Of course, but this was such a good training opportunity that I played along with it. Only an idiot would forget White Day."

Naruto was about to punch that arrogant jerk when he caught view of a volley of kunais heading their way. Neji jumped off the tree while Naruto barely had time to lower his head as the kunais pierce the tree, only missing him by a inch. Tenten jumped on the same tree branch, knocking Naruto down in the process, and jumped off to follow her teammate.

" You can't escape!" She threw more weapons at Neji.

The long-haired boy evaded, and suddenly decided that training was over. He stopped and spinned around, and stood in is fighting stance. Tenten wasn't expecting him to stop dead like that so he got her by surprise with a Jyuken attack. She was pushed back, but came at him again with the same violent intents. Neji's eyes widened. Was she so infuriated that she wasn't even feeling pain anymore?

Naruto decided it was best he left here, but he heard a male voice calling his name.

"Naruto-kun! Over here!"

The blonde boy saw Lee tied tightly to a nearby tree, looking the same way he remembered seeing Chouji earlier today.

" Man, she got you good, fuzzy-brows!" He freed his poor friend.

" Yes, Tenten's youthful vigor is especially effective when she's angry…"

All of a sudden, Naruto was sent flying towards a tree by a powerful punch he knew so very well.

"Shannaro!! I got you this time!" Sakura came out of nowhere to accomplish her revenge.

" Sakura-san, what is the meaning of this unsuiting anger that befalls you?" Lee tried asking, but Sakura paid him no attention. She was too busy beating the crap out of Naruto.

Kiba showed up, followed by Shino and Hinata. He had come just to watch Naruto getting his ass kicked by a girl. Hinata came along because she was worried, but found herself unable to do anything to help him. She did however explain to Lee why the girls were angry.

" How could I forget such an important day? Ah, Tenten, I have failed you!"

Alarmed by the noise, Shikamaru showed up looking annoyed (more than usual), with Ino clinging to his arm and Chouji sadly trailing behind them. By now, Chouji had learned about White Day himself, though too late.

Tenten and Neji had stopped fighting, both exhausted, and everyone was now looking at Sakura punching a crying Naruto.

" But Sakura-chan! You didn't even give me a present on Valentine's Day!!"

Sakura growled. " Is that so? That's not exactly how I remember it!"

Naruto thought back to what happened that day.

**++Naruto flashback mode++**

Naruto had come to find Sakura, but instead he saw a neatly wrapped little red box.

" Sakura-chan made chocolate for Valentine's Day! Awesome!"

And he had eaten the whole thing in one bite, failing to read the little tag that said: 'To Lee-san' attached to it. When Sakura had seen this, she had punched him much like she had just a minute ago.

" You idiot!! That wasn't for you! That was for Lee-san! And here I was thinking of giving you something too! You jerk! You better give me something good next month in exchange for this!"

**++End Naruto flashback mode++**

Lee was outraged. " Sakura-san had a gift for me on Valentines's Day but you ate it? I cried for weeks thinking she hated me! How could you, Naruto-kun??" Then he cried.

" Oh right… I should've gotten you something in exchange for fuzzy-brow's gift…"

" What about me, Lee?" Tenten said, approaching the boy menacingly. " I spent all night baking those cookies for the both of you!"

Both Lee and Neji shuddered as they thought back to the abomination Tenten had called cookies.

" Ah yes…the cookies. They were certainly…er, very…um, quite…Help me out here." Lee eyed Neji.

" They were disgusting," Neji said very bluntly.

" Well sorry for not being good in a kitchen!" she yelled at both of them.

" Don't be mad, Tenten! I'm sure I tasted some love beneath the burnt parts and the exceeding sugar."

Tenten punched Lee. The others watching winced in compassion.

Sakura saw Ino hanging to Shikamaru's arm and got somewhat jealous. " What is going on there?" she said as she pointed at them.

Ino smiled. " Being alone on White Day is for losers, so I got Shikamaru to be my slave…I mean, boyfriend for the day. He has to do everything I say today!"

Shikamaru sighed. " Don't cling to me so much, it's troublesome." The only reason he had agreed to Ino's request was because he feared for his own safety.

After apologizing a million times, Lee had showered Tenten with a hundred pink roses he had gotten God knows where. She decided she was going to forgive him this time. Then she shot a glare at Neji that meant 'where's _your_ gift?'

Eyes closed, Neji reached in his pocket and handed Tenten two white ribbons while averting her gaze. The girl took them and blushed.

Ino sighed dreamily. " She's so lucky!"

Neji had tried to keep a cool face all along, but it was rendered useless when Naruto and Sakura spoke too loudly.

" Why? What's so great about useless ribbons?" Naruto squinted.

Sakura hit him on the head. " You don't know anything, do you? On White Day, if a guy gives a girl a white ribbon, it's an expression of love. If the girl shares the same feelings, she will tie the ribbons to her hair."

Naruto snickered. " Oh, I get it! It means Neji is in love with Tenten!"

Neji never expected the others to make such a scene. " Would you two shut up!?" he spat, visibly embarrassed.

But it was too late, all the others had heard and were now eyeing him, amused, either grinning, blushing or whispering to each other.

Neji blushed at this attention. Realizing blushing was an un-Neji thing to do, the unnerved boy chose to vanish in a flash.Tenten blushed furiously, not saying a word and the girls were giggling.

Naruto dug into his pocket and retrieved an old handkerchief. He showed it to Sakura. " Here, Sakura-chan! It's not exactly a ribbon, but it's white!"

Sakura was somewhat touched, but she hit the boy on the head. " I don't want your dirty tissue! It looks like it's been used!"

Naruto pouted a little, then reached in his pocket again and took out a small object. He grabbed Hinata's wrist and placed the object in her hand. The girls blushed like she always does and looked at her hand. He had given her an old candy that obviously had been in his pocket for so long, it had melted.

" It's not much, but please accept it."

" Th-thank you…" To Hinata this meant the world. " But..why…I didn't give you a Valentine…"

" What are you talking about? I got your present. I forgot to thank you.You didn't write your name on it, but I knew it was from you because the wrapping was so cute and the chocolate was so delicious." Naruto smiled.

Upon hearing those words, Hinata got so red, she fainted. Kiba sighed and picked her up in his arms. " I'll take her home. She's had a big day." He left the group, followed by Shino.

" Well, shall we go as well?" Ino asked. " You're taking me out to dinner! After all, you _are_ my boyfriend for today."

Shikamaru sighed his favorite quote. " Troublesome…I know you're only hanging with me because Sasuke isn't here for you to annoy."

" Of course I am! You're my boyfriend only for today, tomorrow I may not tolerate your attitude. Come now. Let's go to this place I like. You know, that very expensive place."

Chouji saw an opportunity to get invited as well. " Ino, let me be your boyfriend for the day too!"

The three of them left, without so much of a goodbye. Sakura was upset that Ino was getting so much male attention today and not her. She got Naruto's head into a headlock.

" Well, now's your chance to redeem yourself, Naruto! You better take me to dinner too!"

"Su-sure! Just let go of me!"

"Sakura-san! Allow me to take you to dinner as well!" Lee asked politely.

She nodded and the three of them left.

The wind blew and Tenten's eye twitched as she realized everyone had gone and left her alone here. Then she remembered the white ribbons in her hand and smiled. She tied them to her hair and took off in the direction Neji had taken.

--

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Owari!

How was that? Too fluffy? XD I'm guessing anyone familiar with anime has heard of White Day before. It really exists, I didn't make that up. Though the thing about giving a white ribbon to the girl you like, I got that from D.N.Angel. Not sure if that really exists. Should I make a chapter for each of the four groups' "dates"? I'm not sure. I might if people like this story. See ya next time now!


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